C.10: Why do I have so many trials in my life?

/by

What has been one of your biggest recent trials?
How were you able to see the “good” in it?

A Story

Mario was facing all kinds of trials in his life. His job was challenging, but it was his boss that was hard to get along with. The lead foreman continued to be on his case for his work and continued to undermine his performance. Mario also struggled with temptations. It seemed like at every turn, he was faced with sexual temptation, struggles with pride, and self-centeredness issues. The coach would hear him share these struggles.

Digging Into The Bible

James 1:2-18 (NIV):

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. 8 Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. 9 Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. 10 But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. 11 For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls, and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business. 12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. 13 When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; 14 but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. 15 Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. 16 Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. 18 He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of first fruits of all he created.

Discussion & Discovery

  1. What does this passage say about trials?
  2. When facing trials, what should we do?
  3. What are some sources of temptations?
  4. How does this passage teach about how God uses temptations?
  5. What is your current attitude toward temptations and trials?
  6. What does this passage teach about how you should respond to trials and temptations?

Application & Accountability

  1. What will be your intended future when you seek to conquer these problems in your life?
  2. What is the bottom line in how to deal with them? What will be the results?
  3. What step can you take to begin working on at least one of these areas of trial?
  4. When will you put that step into action?
  5. What can I do to help you carry out that step?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

C.9: I need to overcome my selfishness.

/by

How has selfishness impacted your life?
What is your experience dealing with selfish people?

A Story

Christopher has been a Christian leader in a local church in a southern town in the United States. He helped lead the core team in a church. He recently ran into a conflict with his fellow elders. He found himself acting like a child who could not get his way. He took the criticisms personally and began to villainize his fellow teammates. He was angry and wanted to leave this group of fellow believers. He found himself facing his selfishness and emotional immaturity. He wanted to know what he could do to be more loving.

Digging Into The Bible

We looked together at this passage in Romans 12:9-21(NIV):

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. 17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Discussion & Discovery

  1. Of the items in this passage, which one stands out to you today?
  2. Describe why you picked that area.
  3. How would you explain, in other words, this area?
  4. How are you doing in living out of this area?
  5. What would you like to see changed in this quality?

Application & Accountability

  1. How would you go about that change?
  2. What would be some practical steps you can take?
  3. When would you like to get started on this area?
  4. How can I be of help in following up on how you did?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

C.8: How do I go about building purity in my life?

/by

What is evil?

How does being around evil make you feel?

A Story

The teacher stated, “The statistics show that 60-70% of men struggle with addictions to pornography.” Because of the internet and easy access to these temptations, there is a great struggle for purity. Everywhere a person turns today in our culture, there are attempts to exploit the sexual nature of the way a person is created. There are attempts to stretch our human values beyond the values of God’s creation and beyond what is moral. When this occurs, this is called immorality. Both men and women are tempted daily to violate the morals of the Bible. In most cases, this action results in sadness and broken relationships. Sexual addiction has become an epidemic. In coaching, we want to encourage health in all areas, such as physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual.  However, sexual health must also be examined, and the need to be able to coach that into people’s lives.

Digging Into The Bible

I Thessalonians 4:1-8:

As for other matters, brothers and sisters, we instructed you how to live to please God, as in fact you are living. Now we ask you and urge you in the Lord Jesus to do this more and more. 2 For you know what instructions we gave you by the authority of the Lord Jesus. 3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8 Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.

Discussion & Discovery

  1. What are the key items that impact you from this passage?
  2. What does this passage teach about purity?
  3. What has been your history of sexual purity and impurity?
  4. How has it impacted your relationships?
  5. What from this passage do you hear about your intended future in purity?

Application & Accountability

  1. What are the obstacles that hinder you from reaching your goals of pure living?
  2. How do you go about removing these obstacles?
  3. What would be one step that you can take this week?
  4. Who will be able to provide you with accountability?

Digging Into The Bible (Part 2)

Another passage to look at is Colossians 3:1-11:

Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. 3 For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. 5 Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. 7 You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. 8 But now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. 9 Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices 10 and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. 11 Here there is no Gentile or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.

Discussion & Discovery (Part 2)

  1. How will you set your heart and mind on things above?
  2. What does it mean to “put to death? What areas do we need to cut?

Application & Accountability (Part 2)

  1. How can you apply this verse in your life today?
  2. What can we do to see purity in our lives over this next year?
  3. Select one area that you will put on the blade.
  4. How will you set your mind and heart on things above?
  5. When will you get started on this?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

C.7: I struggle with pride.

/by

How does pride show up most in your life?
In your journey, what have you learned about humility?

A Story

Pastor Jose started his church five years ago with five families. His warm spirit and teaching of the Bible have attracted many people, and the church now has 500 people attending.  Pastor Joe looks around at other churches, and he enjoys a great feeling of success. He finds himself critiquing the other church leaders and speaks negatively towards other churches. He confesses this to his coach and wants help. He states, “I struggle with pride in my life.”

Digging Into The Bible

Humility is a character quality that Jesus modeled, according to Philippians 2:5 in the verse, “He thought it not robbery to be equal with God but humbled himself and became a man….”  We are encouraged in our relationship with God that He delights in humility. What does humility mean? Humility is not to focus on self, but to focus on the value of others and see them as more important than ourselves. For example, Philippians 2:3-4 advises, “Think not every man on his own things, but every man on the things of others.” Jesus models his humility again in applying this priority. Moses modeled it in his care for the people of Israel. The book of James contains a great set of verses that give us a pathway to humility. Look at this pathway and then determine your current reality in pursuing humility. You may find a step that you want to focus on in your journey toward a deeper, more humble perspective. Let’s look at the steps.

Commands from James 4:6-11:

God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble. Submit to God Resist the Devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners. Purify your hearts, you double minded. Weep mourn and wail. Let laughter be turned to sadness and your joy to gloom. Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God, and he will lift you up.

There seems to be several steps to Humility. Read through each of these steps. Begin by asking questions like the ones below to learn where you are in your journey of humility.  Talk together about what obstacles stop you from moving to the next step. Discuss together the meaning of the term humility.

Discussion & Discovery

  1. What steps have you taken so far in your relationship with the Lord from this passage?
  2. What are the steps you discovered?
  3. What does each step mean and entail?
  4. What evidence of humility is in your life already?
  5. What are the steps that seem to be most difficult for you?

Application & Accountability

  1. Let’s focus on one step.
  2. Describe what it would look like when you have taken that step.
  3. Let’s plan on how you will use these steps in your everyday life.
  4. When will you start?
  5. After taking the steps, share what steps you have taken so far.
  6. What can I do right now to help you continue your plan?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

C.6: I don’t have enough patience.

/by

C.6: I don’t have enough patience [James 5:7-11]

What are the biggest challenges to your patience?
What steps can you take to grow in patience?

A Story

Anger flared once again because the coke can was left out. The father asked, “Why can’t they just put it in the pop-can box?” Frustration over the lack of people’s care for little details can irritate nerves. This person’s conclusion, along with other frustrations, is that “They just don’t care.” “The church doesn’t care.”  “The family doesn’t care.” “The wife doesn’t care.” He continued, “I am losing my patience with people.”  What does the Bible say to help a person know what to do about anger and how to build patience?

Digging Into The Bible

We suggested that he look at James 5:7-11(NIV):

 7 Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. 8 You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. 9 Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door! 10 Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. 11 As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy.

Discussion & Discovery

  1. What is your definition of patience?
  2. In this passage, what is a key element of patience?
  3. What is an example of patience?
  4. What feelings are involved in your impatience?

Application & Accountability

  1. What is your biggest struggle concerning patience?
  2. What happens to cause you to struggle?
  3. What insights do you gain in this passage about how God brings patience into our lives?
  4. Where does God’s role fit into learning patience?
  5. What is the most important item you need to take steps to have patience?
  6. What would one step be to move forward in this area of life?
  7. When will you implement this plan?
  8. How can I be of help and provide accountability?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

C.5: I want to strengthen my heart to greater love

/by

How are you exercising love in relationships with others?

Where does heart transformation fit into loving well?

A Story

A friend shared his disappointment in a relationship that he had trusted for many years. He expressed that he felt like he couldn’t love this person anymore. He felt that he did not have it in him. Yet, he knew he should love more deeply. He expressed, “I WANT TO STRENGTHEN MY HEART FOR GREATER LOVE.” It was  suggested for him to look at I John 4:7-11.

Digging Into The Bible

I John 4:7-11:

Dear friends let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Discussion & Discovery

  1. Read this passage and meditate on it.
  2. What are the key concepts about love in this section of scripture?
  3. If I want to increase my love, what does this passage tell us that needs to happen?
  4. What did God do to show his love for us?

Application & Accountability

  1. What can you do to demonstrate and increase your love for God?
  2. What can you do to demonstrate and increase your love for people?
  3. Think of some specific people that you want to increase your love for.
  4. What would be something you could do or say to show them your love?
  5. When would you do this?
  6. What would be another step to see this permeate your soul?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

C.4: How do I build honesty in my character?

/by

In your experience, what have been temptations towards dishonesty?

How have you been able to overcome them?

A Story

A coaching relationship was established with a man for a year. He had agreed that if there were anything the coach said or did that was not helpful to the client, the client would be honest about those things.  After a year, it seemed like the client was very pleased with the time of coaching and was very grateful. The coaching stopped and the client moved on. Later, the client was speaking with another coach and reported how displeased he was with his past coach.

What stopped the client from being honest with his former coach?

Honesty is a critical quality to develop. How does one develop a standard of honesty?

Let’s look at two passages of scripture.

Digging Into The Bible

Ephesians 4:25:

 Therefore, each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

Discussion & Discovery

  1. What has been your history of telling the truth and telling lies?
  2. What gives you a basic conviction of being honest?
  3. What does it mean to be honest?
  4. How do you strengthen this character quality?

Application & Accountability

  1. What steps do you need to take to reconcile any situations where you have not been honest?
  2. How can you move forward and ensure that honesty is consistently a part of your character?
  3. What other scriptures can you think of that will deepen your conviction about honesty?
  4. When will you get started in these steps?

Digging Into The Bible (Part 2)

Ephesians 4:15-16:

 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 16 From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.

Discussion & Discovery (Part 2)

  1. How does honesty impact the unity of the body of Christ?
  2. What can you do to speak the truth in love?

Application & Accountability (Part 2)

  1. What would be a practical place that you can apply this this week?
  2. When will you get started?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

C.3: I want to see the quality of excellence in my life.

/by

In what ways do you want to excel in your life?

How is that going?

A Story

In the 2016 Olympics, it was amazing to see each of these athletes demonstrate their vision for excellence. They might break a record, but they wanted more. They wanted to excel and break it again. Excellence means that a goal that they had reached in the past is not enough.

Excellence is when a person wants to EXCEL to the next level. This is not perfection but how you can improve. When evaluation is done in the various parts of life, the desire to improve is the quality of excellence. When excellence is present, evaluation is done in all areas of your life and then steps are taken to improve. These steps and success show the quality of excellence.

This is illustrated in the scripture below.

Digging Into The Bible

 1 Thessalonians 3:11-13:

Now may our God and Father himself and our Lord Jesus clear the way for us to come to you. 12 May the Lord make your love increase and overflow for each other and for everyone else, just as ours does for you. 13 May he strengthen your hearts so that you will be blameless and holy in the presence of our God and Father when our Lord Jesus comes with all his holy ones?

Discussion & Discovery

  1. What do you observe that the apostle Paul wanted the saints to excel in?
  2. What does this passage teach about excellence in love?
  3. What would this attitude of character produce in our life?
  4. What are the areas in your life that you would like to excel in or abound more or increase?

Application & Accountability

  1. Which one do you want to excel in currently?
  2. What would be one thing that you could focus on?
  3. How willyou go about this process?
  4. Describe your “excellence” plan.
  5. When willyou get started on this?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

C.2: I want to be moving from discontentment to contentment

/by

What does contentment look like to you?
How do you find joy and peace?

A Story

Complaining and griping characterized Roger’s life in the Navy. His addiction to alcohol was making a mess of his life. After a car accident, God got his attention and he trusted Christ for his salvation. However, he was a new believer and was not growing. It seemed like he and everyone on the ship were unhappy about something. It was either their job, the food, the conditions, the fellow sailors, and many other things. Roger would complain and gripe about everything. To help him, someone shared verses from the Bible about not complaining.

After going over the Scripture and applying it in his life, his gratitude produced growth and love for God, which was amazing. It was a delight to see him grow.

Complaining was stunting his growth.

Digging Into The Bible

We can see that the Apostle Paul was experiencing many difficulties in his life and ministry. He saw the difficulties of God. He had learned something through the good and bad. Let’s see what we can learn from his writings and apply.

Philippians 4:10-13:

 10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

Discussion & Discovery

  1. Paul describes a secret that he has learned in contentment. What do you think it was?
  2. What would it look like if you learned to be content?
  3. What does it mean to be content?
  4. How would it feel for you to be content?
  5. What does it mean that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me?

Application & Accountability

  1. What has caused some of your discontent?
  2. What do you think was the key to Paul’s learning contentment?
  3. What can you learn from this?
  4. What steps can you take to be content?
  5. When will you take them?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

C.1: I Need stronger character

/by

What are your strengths?

What plans do you have to improve?

A Story

“Sometimes I feel my character stinks! I see my strengths and weaknesses. But when it comes to anger and control, I don’t seem to be able to change.” Larry was sharing this with his coach at a vulnerable moment. His coach began to ask questions about his past and discovered that his past family experiences left him in some deep pain and hurt. This trauma has had a deep impact on his life. How would the coach take steps to use the scriptures and begin to coach him in his character life?

Digging Into The Bible

He referred Larry to 2 Peter 1:3-11(NIV parentheses mine):

3His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. 4Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption that is in the world caused by evil desires. (Note the following list that he gives us to move toward this deeper Godliness) 5For this very reason (what reason?), make every effort to add to your faith goodness: and to goodness, knowledge, 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.  9But if one does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins. 10Therefore, my brothers, be more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, 11and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Discussion & Discovery

  1. What is your understanding of what God has given us for life and godliness?
  2. What comes to your mind when you think of “life and godliness”?
  3. How do you feel about your journey towards life and godliness?
  4. Is there an area of your life that you would like to focus on? What is it?
  5. What have you learned about the promises of God?
  6. How do God’s promises help you participate in his divine nature?
  7. What promises have you claimed in your own life?

Application & Accountability

  1. What steps can you take to understand how these promises affect your daily life and shape your character?

Digging Into The Bible (Part 2)

Note the list of qualities has an additive factor in verses 5-7:

  1. Add to your faith
  2. Goodness; to your goodness add
  3. Knowledge; to your knowledge, add
  4. Self-Control: to your Self Control add
  5. Perseverance; to your Perseverance, add
  6. Godliness; to your Godliness, add
  7. Brotherly Kindness; to your brotherly kindness, add
  8. Love

Remember 2 Peter 1:8:

For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Discussion & Discovery (Part 2)

  1. Which of these eight qualities do you feel are a part of your life?
  2. Which of these qualities do you need to understand more fully? What do they mean, and what are their implications in your life?
  3. Which qualities do you need? Which one quality would you like to focus on?
  4. What would be your current reality in this area of character?
  5. What do you desire to grow in?

Application & Accountability (Part 2)

  1. What steps do you need to take to encourage this quality in your life?
  2. How do you align with God’s word in this character area?
  3. How would you increase an area of character that is already there?
  4. When would you like to start working on this quality?
  5. How can I help you increase in these areas?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible: