F.6: I struggle with Obedience.

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A Story

I was born into a family that taught us that God wanted us to be obedient to our Mom and Dad. It was essential because of how God had established His law in the Bible. This is the 5th commandment of the Ten Commandments given to Moses and the children of Israel. This was built into my life as we grew up. I wanted to obey my mom and dad. However, when I damaged the Volkswagen, I was dishonest and did not tell my dad that I had dented the car. I was ashamed and wanted to hide my error. I was afraid. My dad helped me to learn that I should always be honest with him. Being honest was a form of obedience. My grandpa always said, “Tell the truth even if the stars fall.” How do I refresh my heart to obey?

Digging Into The Bible

The disciples had just been invited to follow Jesus. He gathered them up and taught what is called the Sermon on the Mount. In the first 16 verses, he outlined eight areas of thinking which relate to the foundations of obedience.

Matthew 5:1-11                                                                                                           

1 Now when Jesus saw the crowds, he went up on a mountainside and sat down. His disciples came to him, 2 and he began to teach them.

The Beatitudes

He said: 3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. 5 Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. 6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. 7 Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. 8 Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. 9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. 10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Salt and Light

13 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. 14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.

Discussion & Discovery

  1. When you think of obedience, what comes to your mind?
  2. What can we learn from Matthew 5:1-16 about the obedience to Jesus?
  3. What part of Matthew 5:1-16 do you resonate with the most?
  4. How does understanding the Kingdom of God relate to obedience?
  5. What hinders you from loving obedience to Christ? Name an area that is hard for you.

Application & Accountability

  1. What would be a vision for future obedience in that area?
  2. What lies at the root of your motivation for obedience?
  3. What kinds of foundational work do you see you need to grow in to strengthen your obedience?
  4. Which one of these beatitudes will need some work?
  5. What steps can you take to grow in these areas of life?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

F.5: I am able to constantly put Christ first in my life.

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A Story

Peter lived in a beautiful home in Southern California. His children were in sports, and he was busy with work. His wife worked full-time and loved her work.  They were church members and found that with all the activity, they could only get into church once a month. They loved doing family outings, and they saved lots of money so their kids could attend college in the future. They liked praying but were caught up with entertainment, parties, and many social activities. Often, he found himself worried about the future. They rarely had time to read the Bible. They found themselves living the “American dream.”  In his coaching session, the coach asked about his relationship with Christ. He answered, “I find myself so busy with all that life has to offer I can’t find time to spend meaningful time with God personally.  I have pursued all these activities and relationships, thinking this would be my fulfillment. The reality is that I am finding my life empty, and my heart is not filled up. What should I do?”  The coach asked, “Would you be willing to look at a passage that speaks to this issue in your life?”  He agreed.

Digging Into The Bible

Colossians 1:10-20 (NIV):

10 so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God,11 being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, 12 and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light. 13 For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, 14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.15 The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy.19 For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.

Discussion & Discovery

  1. When you read verses 10-14 from Chapter 1, what do you feel?
  2. Describe your experience of being transferred from the Kingdom of Darkness to the Kingdom of the Son he loves.
  3. What comes to your mind when you think of Kingdom? List the qualities you see about the Son in verses 15-20.
  4. Which quality about Jesus stands out to you?
  5. What are the implications of this perspective on Jesus?

Application & Accountability

  1. How do we bring these qualities to reality in our own experiences?
  2. Which one would you like to meditate on first?
  3. What conclusions can you draw about who Jesus is and what part he should have in your life in the Kingdom of His Son?
  4. What do you know about the American Dream?
  5. How does it influence the place Christ plays in your life?
  6. What practical steps can you take to ensure that Chris has His rightful place in your life?
  7. When can you put this step into action?
  8. What can I do to help you achieve this goal?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

F.4: I am able to apply scripture to my life.

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A Story

Pedro was a hard worker. He had attended church as a young boy yet found it boring and as a teenager, he just stopped going. When he reached his 20s, a good friend from work shared the wonderful message of the gospel from the Bible. By faith, Pedro’s heart was open and he embraced the truth of God’s love and was welcomed into God’s family.  At first, he was excited about his relationship with Christ.  He began to read the Bible every day and attend small groups. However, in the busyness of life, he missed his times of Bible reading and fellowship. He noticed old patterns coming back into his life. A good friend who was a coach met him and began to learn about Pedro’s decision and his stagnated growth. He stated, “I seem to have trouble applying the Bible in my everyday life. Can you help me with this?” His friend told him about the Book in the Bible called James.  Pedro began to learn the principles of application from the book of James.

We told Pedro, “As you study the book of James, you will see the Holy Spirit introducing the purpose of Trials and Temptations” (See Infant stage A-3 on coaching trials and Temptations). Then you will see  steps the Holy Spirit gives to applying the Bible.” He was eager to get started.

Digging Into The Bible

James 1:19-27

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20 because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. 21 Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.

22 Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23 Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror 24 and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25 But whoever looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues in it—not forgetting what they have heard, but doing it—they will be blessed in what they do.

26 Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless. 27 Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.

Note: James 1:19-27 and find the nine items of Instruction:

  1. Be quick to listen
  2. Be slow to speak
  3. Be angry and sin not
  4. Get rid of moral filth
  5. Receive the Word into your hearts, which is able to save your souls
  6. Do not merely listen to the Word, do what it says
  7. Focus your attention on the Law of Freedom in Christ
  8. Care for widows and orphans
  9. Keep yourself unstained by the world

Discussion & Discovery

  1. As you read these imperatives, which one stands out to you the most?
  2. Which ones do you need to understand better?
  3. Which ones would you like to discuss?

Application & Accountability

  1. Which one are you strongest in? Tell me about that.
  2. Which one or ones do you want to grow in?
  3. Where do you feel you are in this area?
  4. What would it take to grow to a new level in that area?
  5. What would you like to be your first step?
  6. When will you get started?
  7. What are the obstacles that might slow you down from improving in this area?

SUGGESTIONS

  • In each of these instructions, you can be coached by the Holy Spirit by simply asking, “How am I doing in being quick to listen on a scale of 1-10?” Then, explain what your answer means.
  • Next, ask what would make it a step above your current reality. Depending on the answer, what would be the first step of action to move to greater listening?
  • You can work through as many of these steps as possible, putting them on your calendar.
  • Ask for some accountability on your steps.
  • Work through each instruction and see God’s work become implanted in your heart.

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

F.3: How do I get more power in my life?

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A Story

At a men’s conference a number of years ago, we taught the concept of the power of God flowing through us. However, when it came to coaching, one man had trouble thinking about how this illustration represents true power in his life. He knew that God had not given him a spirit of fear. But the fear persisted.  We worked on these steps to help him personally see what had to happen to have power in his life.

Digging Into The Bible

2 Timothy 1:7

For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.

Discussion & Discovery

  1. What does it mean that God did not give us a spirit of fear?
  2. How would you define having a spirit of power?
  3. How are power, love, and a sound mind essential for a balanced life?
  4. How would you define a sound mind? Good decisions? Discipline?

Application & Accountability

  1. What steps can you take to deal with your fear?
  2. How do you grasp the connection to power?
  3. What has been your experience of having power in your life?
  4. Which of these three is most evident in your life?
  5. What steps can you take to bring power, love, and discipline into your life?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

F.2: Is there a path to maturity? Four Passages: Come & See, Follow Me, Be with Me, Remain in Me

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A Story

Jesus began his public ministry at age 30. He came into the land of Israel proclaiming that the Kingdom of God was at hand. When disciples began to follow him, he had four stages that are evident in the gospels. A church in Portland adopted these stages as the pathway of maturity. Each stage has qualities that can be measured and progress was evaluated on this. Many leaders to this day use these stages as a path to maturity.

Digging Into The Bible

Come and See from John 1: 29-39 He ends this passage with “Come and you will see.” The disciples spent time with Jesus and then returned to fishing. There seem to be several characteristics in this stage. The disciples upon this invitation ultimately said “Yes” to trusting Jesus and “No” to saving themselves. Later in this journey, Jesus gives us the second stage.

Follow Me from Matthew 4:19 Here he said to his disciples “Follow me and I will make you fishers of men.” During this stage, Jesus invited them to follow. He then promised a result. They in turn left their nets and followed. They were saying “Yes” to growing and “No” to staying the same. In this stage, they increased their time and commitment to being with Jesus. That commitment shows up in our lives in our devotional life, study time, fellowship time, etc.

Be with Me from Mark 3:13-14 is where he gathered the disciples and he selected 12 to be with him. It was during this time they were engaged in ministry on their own, observing and learning the ways of Jesus. In this stage, a disciple is saying “Yes “to serving and leading and “No” to distractions. The follower’s commitment level has increased, and he or she is teaming in the ministry.

Remain in me from John 15:5 occurred in the last week of Jesus’s life in this passage he announced to them that he was going away and would send the Holy Spirit to guide them into all truth. He encouraged them to remain connected to the vine so that they could bear fruit. In this stage, a person says “Yes” to parenting other disciples to maturity and says “No” to self. This stage has the highest commitment and the highest fruitfulness.

Discussion & Discovery

  1. What are the measurements using Yes and No in each stage?
  2. How did Jesus move his disciples into each stage?
  3. What does this tell us about the Kingdom of God?
  4. Which stage seems to take the longest time period to grow?
  5. What obstacles stopped people from moving to the next stage?

Application & Accountability

  1. What is your thinking about how people move from stage to stage?
  2. What stage do you want to move to?
  3. How are you going to get there?
  4. What changes in your life is Jesus asking you to take?
  5. When would you like to get started?
  6. What do you need to be successful along the journey?
  7. How can I be of help?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

F.1: I know I am forgiven.

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A Story

Recently, a young man expressed his conviction over attending a movie that showed some undesirable violence. He was deeply troubled that he had watched movies like this.  How does a person know he is forgiven? We will discuss the following verses of Scripture and learn how you can help a person become aware of God’s forgiveness.  Let’s look at:

Digging Into The Bible

Psalm 103: 8-13:

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. nor will he harbor his anger forever; 10 he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. 11 For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; 12 as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. 13 As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him;

Discussion & Discovery

  1. What are the things you discover about God in this passage?
  2. Which of these do you have trouble believing?
  3. What is it about God that gives you confidence that he will forgive?
  4. How do you feel when you hear about His great love?
  5. What does he do with your sins?
  6. What does the phrase “as far as the East is from the West” mean?
  7. How do you feel His compassion?

Application & Accountability

  1. How can this concept affect your thinking?
  2. What will be the results in your own life as you face this reality of God’s forgiveness?
  3. When will you take steps to be with God and agree with Him about your forgiveness?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

E.12: I know why I am here.

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A Story

My neighbor told me about some friends she walks with about their question, “What is the meaning of life? How do I make sense out of my life?” This occurs to all kinds of folks who question their personal worth. Often, they have experienced turmoil through family, marriage, childbearing, or employment.  Recently, someone we were discipling was asking that question. We started with:

Digging Into The Bible

Jeremiah 29:10-12:

This is what the Lord says: “When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

Discussion & Discovery

  1. What did you discover in this passage about God’s promises?
  2. How do promises in the Bible work for us today? For You?
  3. What study have you done on the promises of God?
  4. How do you feel when you hear the phrase, “I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord?”

Application & Accountability

  1. What do you think His plans are for you?
  2. How does knowing that he gives you a future and a hope impact you today?
  3. How do you combine his promises and plans to see more clearly what he wants to do in your life?
  4. How does that make you feel when you see how much He values you?
  5. What practical steps in the near future can you take to see His plans and promises for you?
  6. How does that give you strength in your sense of meaning in life?
  7. How can you convey meaning through your life to the lives of others who also lack that sense of value?
  8. When will you get started on this journey?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

E.11: I am comfortable coaching “Beauty and Creation”.

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A Story

My workplace just increased my hours. I come home late, and my wife is frustrated with needing my help in watching the kids. The finances are tight and everything in the house seems to be breaking down. I seemed to be overwhelmed and found myself not sure where God was and how to enjoy and walk with him.

Digging Into The Bible

Psalm 19:

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands. 2 Day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. 3 They have no speech, they use no words; no sound is heard from them. 4 Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, their words to the ends of the world. In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun. 5 It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, like a champion rejoicing to run his course. 6 It rises at one end of the heavens and makes its circuit to the other; nothing is deprived of its warmth. 7 The law of the Lord is perfect, refreshing the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. 8 The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes. 9 The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever. The decrees of the Lord are firm, and all of them are righteous. 10 They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the honeycomb. 11 By them your servant is warned; in keeping them there is great reward. 12 But who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults. 13 Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then I will be blameless, innocent of great transgression. 14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Discussion & Discovery

  1. As you read this passage what do you discover about the creation that God has provided for you?
  2. What verses in Psalm 19 do you like the most?
  3. This passage also describes thoughts about the word, the statutes, the fear of the Lord, etc., and how it ministers to us. How have you experienced this work of the Holy Spirit?

Application & Accountability

  1. How do you make the Word of God more precious to you?
  2. How do God’s creation and his Word give you a new perspective on your life?
  3. How can you make the words of your mouth and the meditations of your heart more attuned to God’s spirit?
  4. What would be your steps?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

E.10: I can coach the ways of the Holy Spirit.

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A Story

Where is the Holy Spirit? This question was asked recently by a believer in a church. He wanted to know what the Holy Spirit was doing. He had been in church for a long time and heard many things about the Holy Spirit from the gift of spiritual gifts, to infilling, to baptizing. He wanted some concrete answers and experience. He wanted to know how to experience the work of God through the Holy Spirit.

Digging Into The Bible

1 Corinthians 3:16:

Don’t you know that you yourselves are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in your midst?

Discussion & Discovery

  1. What passages have you studied in your understanding of the presence of the Holy Spirit in your life?
  2. What does it mean that we are the temple of God?
  3. How does the Holy Spirit dwell in us?
  4. How can you grow stronger in understanding the ways of the Holy Spirit?

Application & Accountability

  1. What experiences have opened your eyes to His presence?
  2. How does Romans 8:16 work for you?
  3. Describe experiences in which you have heard His spirit bear witness to your spirit.
  4. How do you think you can turn up the volume of the Spirit speaking to you?
  5. When would be a good time in your day to focus on this?
  6. How would you in this next month want to practice the presence of the Holy Spirit? Be specific.
  7. How do you go about recording your experiences with the Holy Spirit?
  8. When can we hear what he is saying to you?

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible:

E.9: I know God and allow Him to transform me.

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People claim to know God, but it does not change their actions. HOW CAN KNOWING GOD CHANGE ME?

James 1:22, “Be doers of the Word and not hearers only.”

A Story

Coaching the triangle of daily actions from the concept of God

A number of years ago, someone shared an illustration that helped me see why my concept of God was so important to my daily actions. I learned that understanding God does not stop with just a concept. It moves to my being able to discern and “see” what is unseen. I was shown this illustration that is like a triangle divided into three parts. At the foundation of the triangle you will see the words “Concept of God,” in the middle you will see the words, “Basic Beliefs,” and at the top of the triangle like an iceberg, you will see what is visible in what we would call, “Outward Actions.”I learned that  In the coaching session, you can draw out the diagram or describe it over the phone so the coachee can draw it out. I learned that I could also send him or her a prepared document with the picture. I will show you how I worked on this.

Digging Into The Bible

List some of the qualities of God that come to your mind. Try to put a Scripture by some of these.

  • Infinity
  • Omniscience
  • Mercy
  • Loving
  • Righteous
  • Eternity
  • Omnipotence
  • Kindness
  • Giving
  • Triune
  • Sovereignty
  • Judgement
  • Goodness
  • Joy
  • Omnipresence
  • Grace
  • Provider
  • Peace

Example: Joy – Nehemiah 8:10 “The joy of the Lord is my strength.”

This list is not exhaustive, but it will get us started. From here you can discuss a particular behavior or one with which the coachee struggles. Here is an example of the steps: #1 Identify the qualities of God that you want to look at. Enter them at the bottom of the pyramid space. (For example, God’s omnipresence. Matthew 28:20…. I will be with you always to the end of the age.)  From there move to the next level up of the pyramid and record how this concept of God shapes your basic beliefs. Next move to the top of the pyramid and record what will be your outward action steps.

Start from the bottom of the pyramid and work your way up.

Base:  Identify a concept of God. (Example: God’s omnipresence)

Mid:  Write in the next space your basic beliefs about that concept.

Top: Define your resulting behavior/actions. (What it means to you.)

Discussion & Discovery

  1. What is one area of your life that you are struggling with?
  2. Tell me some history about this issue.
  3. How does encountering God and seeing His work in your life affect this area of life?
  4. Let’s look at the list of God’s characters and determine which areas may relate to your issues. Let’s explore God’s Joy Neh. 8:10
  5. Let’s study the verses in relationship to that character. Place Joy of the Lord in Concept of God
  6. What basic beliefs form in your life as a result of knowing God‘s Joy in this way?

Application & Accountability

  1. How can these beliefs change your outward actions?
  2. What would be the motivation to change if you based your decision on your growing knowledge of the character of God and how he wants to transform your life into the image of His son?
  3. What are some character qualities of God will you study in the days ahead?
  4. When will you get started?

I have found help using a book called Joyful Journey. The daily experience of journaling your thoughts and bringing the Lord’s point of view into the experience. It is wonderful to know that he is with us in every experience, and he wants you to record your thoughts and feelings and then let him speak to you about what he is seeking to do in your life. He is excited to see you! That always brings joy!

Digging In Deeper

  1. What is the most important part of this lesson to you? Explain.
  2. How do you see applying aspects of this lesson to your life?
  3. When do you feel would be the best time to make that application?
  4. What do you hear the Lord speaking to you about this right now?

Similar Verses In The Bible

List similar verses in the Bible: